"People pleasing is a self-inflicted prison" - Rick Warren
Do we forget that Christ was rejected and died for us so that we could be accepted?
That we already find all the acceptance we'll ever need in Him? Should it not be God that we should be trying to please?
John 5:44 says 'How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes form the one and only God?'
I don't know about you but that verse just blew me away! There is a home truth in it for all of us - how much do we try to please people, but how little do we focus our efforts on pleasing God?
Paul goes even further in Galatians 1:10 and says
'Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.'
Woah! That one just pierced me through! What Paul is referring to here is that when we try to 'win the approval of men'or try to 'please men' instead of God, we are no longer doing God's will, rather we are doing the will of ourselves and of others.
"People pleasing is a form of idolatry" - Rick Warren
You know exactly what I'm talking about - we crave to win the approval of others and seek to please them like a starving animal seeks his prey - our belly aches for it.
Whether it be our family, friends, co-workers and even, or especially in the Church.
Now don't get me wrong - there's nothing wrong with wanting to do or say things for and to people out of love, devotion and service to them. Rather, it's when the motive of our hearts comes out of a desire to increase our likability or to gain acceptance or favor, that it becomes dangerous.
You start to think about it constantly, you increasingly focus all your attention and devote your efforts to it - often unbeknownst to you.
You being to live your life as a slave to these self-imposed expectations which you perceive will get people to like you more, accept you more.
Soon enough you are so chained up that you can't even make a move without replaying all the possible outcomes over and over again in your head.
You're bound like a dog to his house.
Then suddenly, you feel the noose begin to tighten and you try to loosen it, to take it off but no matter how hard you try - you find yourself tightening it - you can't stop.
You're heavy laden and desperately need release.
That's the scary thing about people pleasing, most of the time you don't even know that you're doing it and finally when you becomes so constrained you wake up and think when did I get behind these bars?
There is freedom my friends, in the sweet name of Jesus.
If this is you - take some quiet time with the Lord and invite him to come and reveal to you why it is you are doing what you do. If you will ask, He is faithful to show up and answer. Then pray a prayer that Jesus might set you free from your prison.
Maybe it stems from you believing that you as you are will not be likable. God has given you a unique personality - embrace it! Don't shrink from it (granted, we all have things that we need to work on).
Give it time and people will begin to see your character - and the chances are, unless you're a completely horrible person - people will like you for who you are! There is a statistic that says 10% of people will never like you. So don't beat yourself up about it - sometimes our personalities just don't mash with certain others - and that's okay.
The only one you have to please is God - Jesus knew that.
Lastly, some wise words of Rick Warren
"God doesn't expect you to please everybody"
